Who invented the blow job? Like, who wakes up one day and thinks “today, I will suck a dick”
moltres: overhearing a conversation between strangers in which they’re saying something completely wrong and you really feel like correcting them I did that the other day with a group of people for whatever reason trying to recall the quadratic equation… It automatically made me the nerdiest person on the line to see iron man…
3ridan: riddlersgammon: hyungstrider: if you ever get Sad just throw whatever youre holding onto th ground and yell ‘FOOTBALL’ as loud as you can what if its a baby dont question the man he gave you clear fucking instructions
leeeeverett: today these two kids in my math class were hitting each other with pencils and my teacher glared at them and said “could you try to be a little more mature?” one of them screamed “TAXES” and punched the other kid in the face
sabrinagrimm: sabrinagrimm: me huntin for the pussy SSTOP REBLOGGING THIS I’M A STRAIGHT 14 YEAR OLD WHITE GIRL
the-bite-of-frost: karmaplus: mattfrombusted: why is it called lukewarm like why isn’t medium warm who is luke I don’t know why I know this, but I happen to know that back in the old days (14th century-ish) “luke” wasn’t a name, it did in fact mean “medium warm” it comes from the name “lew” or “lewk” in Middle English which means “tepid” aka “slightly warm” Tumblr: learn more then you...
mangoestho: merry-i-am: salma: why can’t hurricane names be culturally diverse hurricane muhammad hurricane shaniqua hurricane nguyen because white people destroy everything.
thats-slightly-raven: My milkshakes bring all the boys to the yard. GRAVEyard hahaha enjoy that cyanide milkshake you piece of shit.
epic-humor: 44estgump: i will forever not know how to spell shia labeieoueubeofheeheoef google it
esexist: my computer describes my life better than anyone
sorryforpartybarackin: its so rude when you try to be nice and hold the door open for people but they won’t come in the stall with you
epic-humor: goddammitfenton: if you ever feel bad about yourself, just remember this one time in my english class, we were writing horror stories and one of the girls wrote “it was friday the 13th, the night before halloween” for her opening sentence X
ogoonie: im over here tripping about the possible connection between psi the greek letter and sai the weapon and nobody cares My Nigga… I never thought about that doe
the-vegan-muser: jakeforjesus: Aren’t you like 12 said the 16 year old to the 15 year old 12: the most hated age in the world
nishlo: metallikato: generallegendary: metallikato: jewelstaites: how to give a good handjob bop it pull it twist it harder better faster stronger You pull your left hand in You pull your left hand out You pull your left hand in And you shake it all about! Cha cha real smooth and do the harlem shake
str8lesbian: HOW MANY IS A BRAZILLIAN
epic-humor: octupac: jasmine-blu: octupac: “why are you eating ice cream in the winter” BECAUSE ITS FUCKIN GOOD??? i work at an ice cream place and i hate people like you lmao im so sorry that i like ice cream and u get paid to give me ice cream see more
epic-humor: slytherin-starkid-of-tardis: phinflynn: “Ah, Perry the platypus!” “What an unexpected -“ “WAIT, WAIT, WAIT!” “You’re trapped!” “By societal convention!” “Look! We’re in a fine dining environment. Everyone knows not to throw a scene in a fancy restaurant!” “That’s right. You’re trapped. Sit down.” This show is fucking brilliant. X
dee-victoria: Failure is not a road block. It’s a sign that you need to try a new route.
epic-humor: sergiosblog: snorlaxatives: merlte from lilo and stitch was such a bitch i’d beat the shit out of her #how the fuck did she even become the leader of the mean group, they were all pretty and mertle was this fugly little imp. shit, lilo’s doll with the operation and head trauma could get more D than mertle X
epic-humor: mama-bird: coffeeandklonopin: coffeeandklonopin: carpe diem - seize the day carpe noctem - seize the night carpe natem - seize the ass Seriously, if you guys don’t stop reblogging this I am going to carpe someone’s neck and break it. carpe collum - seize the neck X